HOUSE HUNTING

   So the gist is I'm currently serving in Osun state. Serving Nigeria no be beans o. Getting my house alone wasn't an easy task. I was super happy when I heard housing was super cheap because the truth was I wasn't ready to spend a lot of money on housing. I remember a friend telling me she got a house for N250 a month. God! I was so happy. I danced shoki. The way she described the house was so tush and was as if Dangote built it. Ha! 250 naira for a month. I said would not miss it. I was so anxious to see the house. We stopped a "korope"(that's what the mini bus is called). I wanted the driver to fly. I needed him to fly. My dear,we eventually got to a thick bush where the roads had obviously been touched last since 1472. For a split second,I thought my friend was a ritualist. I had to ask "Nne biko,where is the house?". Then she said,"we'll soon get there". My dear,this endurance trek lasted for about 26 minutes and when I saw the house...I fainted in spirit as I was lost.
    The house was in the middle of a thick bush. The path to get to the house had lots of dry fallen branches that will either cling to your clothes or brush your skin. The "magarine-flies" in their hungry colours didn't miss out on displaying their welcome weak flying skills. I was still expecting us to walk up when my friend said "we don reach". God! I was disappointed. It was as if I saw suffering in human form. The bungalow was built with mud and I guess the mud finished as the house wasn't plastered. Cracked walls with dirty water that has had the job of breeding mosquitoes everywhere. There were pots and stools and old stoves and old bags packed up in front of the house. There were about 3 broken buckets that were obviously passed down to the current generation lying close to the dirty path. The door had a dirty curtain hanging on it and close to it was written: " This house is not for SALE. Beware of 419".I wondered who would want to buy the house or dupe one of this kind of house. The roof had turned from brown to rusted brown. Some woods and mats were also on the roof. I can bet the roof was leaking and the mat was used to cover up. The landlady sat talking with my friend as they kept speaking yoruba language. She didn't even care who was there. She sat wearing her 'it-was-white-bra' and her wrapper that was obviously begging to be washed. My friend signaled me to follow her in and I did. The room was the same size with a toilet. It wasn't painted and looked like where the witches in the village had a meeting recently. The walls were completely wet from what I don't know and had white stains. Hmmmn,there and then I preferred sleeping in a rich man's toilet. I pinched myself and asked: "wait o. How much did you say the house is again?" She said: "N250 per month." "Chai. Oluchi you don fuck up. How did I get myself into this?" I thought. I came out from the room to get fresh air when I jammed the land lady shining her coloured teeth to me saying "Sisi,ba wo ni?". And I smiled sarcastically saying "I'm fine ma". The woman's eyes no be for here o. This kind of landlady won't let me rest at night obviously. My friend was going to ask me "how far na" when I told her to tell the woman that we'll get back to her.
  As soon as we left,I did not hesitate to ask my friend about her love for me. She should have just told me she hated me. I was looking for cheap accommodation didn't mean I was looking for a shit hole or death sentence. Anyways,we laughed that out and I continued my home hunting. It didn't take long sha as I talked with my CLO who called a friend. We checked out two houses which were flats and I eventually chose one. Somebody say alleluia because right now asides the fact that water is a challenge,I'm happy where I am. Hope you had a great day? It's a wonderful evening. Do have a fabulous night.